I ASK MEN ABOUT THEIR SEXUAL BEHAVIOR ALL THE TIME...
Most guys are surprisingly honest about their use of sex when anonymity is a factor. We've spoken about pornography, oral sex, prostitution, lust, marital intimacy, impure thoughts, immoral behavior, father wounds, strange desires, homosexuality, masturbation, sexual abuse, incest, greed and idolatry. I’ve eaten meals with pastors, executives, bankers, doctors, religious people, church planters, frat guys, students, entrepreneurs, traffickers and average guys that work 40 hours a week and stay relatively pure. Family guys. Single guys. Mentally disabled guys. Prisoners. Abusers. Protectors.
THE MAJORITY OF US ARE SEXUALLY BROKEN. LET’S JUST GET THAT OUT ON THE TABLE...
Most of us had absent fathers. 1 in 5 of us were sexually abused. Every one of us has learned the art of concealing sin. 80-90% of men in the churchare currently using pornography, and some of us don’t need a girlfriend because we’re in full-fledged relationship with our hand or laptop. And some of us know the feeling of cold emptiness after leaving a strip club or a brothel. Some of you men know what its like to go to sleep next to an empty shell of a woman that used to be your wife because your infatuation with photoshopped women has extinguished the intimacy. You’re no longer lovers…you’re roommates with children. Some of you are fathers that see your sexual sin manifested in your children, but you’re too fearful to expose it in your own life…regardless of the damage its doing to your marriage and family. “What if coming out with this stuff makes things worse?” is the only question you’ve thought of.
I know where you’re at. I know what you’re thinking. And I know the lies you’re deceived by. I’ve been where some of you are at.
A good friend of mine has battled sexual addiction all of his life. He’s a graduate of Christian college and is part of a healthy church. He’s got a lovingly invasive community and has had numnerous Godly mentors pushing him towards Jesus for the last several years…but he still uses pornography every chance he gets – finding ways around the accountability software on his phone and computer. If he’s alone for longer than 30 minutes with an internet connection, he begins searching for filth. He still habitually masturbates. He lies about his sin. He conceals his secrets. He manipulates Christian women into sinningwith him…then he lies about that. He exemplifies the epitome of selfishness and a lack of self control.
But he also calls Jesus his Lord…
Are you that guy? I’ve been there…it’s like my conscience is dying a slow death. How can I love Jesus and porn? How can I walk out of a sweet moment of intimacy with the Spirit only to fall to sexual sin 30 minutes later?
It’s a complete anomaly to me…that we can be sexually enslaved while following Jesus…yet that’s what the overwhelming majority of men tend to be living.
I’m not going to quote my favorite authors…or offer free accountability software. I don’t have a PDF to read or an invitation to a men’s conference. You’ve probably already tried those things. You’ve read “Every Man’s Battle” and made countless commitments…which you’ve broken. You’ve tried accountability. You’ve gone through a “freedom session.” You’ve confessed your sin. You’ve been rebuked. You’ve disconnected the internet. You’ve been kicked out of the house. You’ve destroyed the computer. You’ve memorized Galatians 5. You’ve pleaded with Jesus to remove the thorn in your flesh. You’ve shouted, screamed and wept. You’ve tried everything…and you’re still shackled.
LET’S BURN A DIFFERENT KIND OF IMAGE INTO YOUR NEURAL PATHWAYS:
You’re on a battlefield. It’s dark. Chaotic. Cold wind is whipping your face. The stench of death fills the air. Corpses of demons lie all around you…and the field is soaked in blood.
You can hear the sounds of armor and weapons colliding…sparks are flying. Screams pierce your ears.
You see chiseled, powerful beings illuminated radiantly like glass…and they’re destroying shadows…gripping the throats of principalities and slitting them with iridescent blades.
But you’re without armor. You wonder how you got to this place…and why you came unprepared.
Men that you recognize are rushing the opposite direction – spears aligned…ready to throw. Swords sharpened, shields fixed, helmets lowered…they’re ready for battle. They’re calling for you to join them. They’re rushing for the the front lines – and they’re unafraid. They know they’ve been given victory.
But not you…you’ve got your pants down around your ankles. You’re roaming in circles looking for the seductress that’s calling you by name.
You can’t wait to fornicate on the battlefield.
And all the while, the Kingdom is coming. The lost are being found. The sick are being healed. Demonic assignments are being cancelled. The veil is being lifted off of false religion…and the persecuted church is exponentially growing in the face of opposition. Jesus is authoritatively mediating a covenant – and the Spirit is interceding for the children of God…breathing life into dry bones.
But you want an orgasm.
LET ME REMIND YOU WHO YOU ARE...
You are God’s child | John 1:12
You are a friend of Jesus | John 15:15
You have been justified | Romans 5:1
You’ve been united with the Lord and are one with him in Spirit | 1 Corinthians 6:17
You’ve been bought with a price…you belong to God | 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
You’re a member of Christ’s body | 1 Corinthians 12:27
You’ve been chosen by God and adopted as his child | Ephesians 1:3-8
You’ve been redeemed and forgiven of all your sins | Colossians 1:13-14
You are complete in Christ | Colossians 2:9-10
You have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus | Hebrews 4:14-16
You are free from condemnation | Romans 8:1-2
You cannot be separated from the love of God | Romans 8:28
You are free from any condemning charges against you | Romans 8:31-34
You’ve been established, anointed and sealed | 2 Corinthians 1:21-22
You were washed…you were sanctified. You were justified in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God | 1 Cor 6:11
You are hidden with Christ in God | Colossians 3:1-4
God started this work in you, and he will bring it to completion | Phil 1:6
You are a citizen of heaven | Philippians 3:20
You haven’t been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind | 2 Timothy 1:7
You are born of God, and the evil one cannot touch you | 1 John 5:18
You are a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life | John 15:5
You have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit | John 15:16
You are God’s temple | 1 Corinthians 3:16
You are a minister of reconciliation | 2 Corinthians 5:17-21
You are seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm | Ephesians 2:6
You are God’s workmanship | Ephesians 2:10
You can approach God with freedom and confidence – not because of your obedience…but because of Jesus’ obedience | Ephesians 3:12
When you are faithless, he will remain faithful…because he cannot disown himself | 2 Timothy 2:13
Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son?